Friday, December 18, 2015

As hard as finding a baby sitter

Not long ago, a senior friend of mine called me up, “Wai training tey mala mo?”

“Training! It’s as hard as finding a baby sitter,” I responded. May be he got offended at the other end but his earlier response when I sought his help to find me a baby sitter prompted me to reply so. This is bad I know, but can’t help it, particularly when one is going through bad situation. It’s not unacceptable norm either.
My daughter Dechog, 8 years old trying to baby-sit her youngest sister
I know this is a serious problem most of us are going through. Yet we don’t want to share because it’s a family matter. It’s something that deserves to be kept hidden. Therefore, with much hesitation I chose to share my problem here on the blog.


 Well, some might call me weak. But that’s okay. 

Actually, this is not something that should remain concealed. This problem affects wider spheres of our lives. It all started when my former baby sitter (who had been more than my own sister to me) decided to return home (about a year after I became resident of Thimphu). That was in 2012. Since then, me and my small family has been going through turbulence.

Recollecting my childhood days - I grew up in dusts and soot; with dogs and pigs; cocks and hens; and, with cows and horses playing all day long in and around our home. Those were beautiful days when we were safe and peaceful. But today, modernization has brought in so many challenges in child upbringing. The risk of children loosing to someone, danger of vehicular hit and run, risks over electrical and gasoline accidents, risks of falling over tall buildings...and so on. It all together makes it difficult to leave behind our children on their own. That's why the need for a reliable baby sitter is all the more necessary.
 Particularly when you have infants, it becomes difficult for parents who are both office goers. Besides having disorders at home it adversely affects your professional life . Personally I find it hard to balance between my professional and family affairs (well, this may not be the case with everyone). I think sound family is important to perform well in one's career. Without which, it's bit too hard to focus on one's day to day office works - it distracts one's thought processes; it's hard to dedicate wholeheartedly in any important discussions and meetings as one has to constantly attend to personal obligations from time to time; and then, there are bosses and peers who take it as negligence and inefficiency not knowing the kind of problems one is going through. I sometimes feel, "Why did I have a family in the first place?" LOL. Both are important of course. I value both of them equally.
My mother comes to my rescue for a while

Unable to bear these pains I was going through, my mother came to help me sometime in February last year (2014). It was a great relief for my wife and I for over eight months. Unfortunately, she had to return because my younger sister back in village is going through same problem.  For a farmer, you miss a day or two then you miss your food for next season. Our mother's help was much needed there too, so we decided that she should go and help my sister back home. As for me, I assured her that I'll have to do some over time works or seriously think of finding another compatible job to pull through this momentary crisis.

So, here I'm today still seriously thinking over this issue. Called up few friends near and far desperately seeking their help to find me a helper. It seems like this is not going to happen. But its matter of few years, another few years only. And, I constantly pray that I'll not let my children go through similar situation when they start their family. Seriously, I want to baby sit if I live long.

So many things to write but its already become lengthy enough so I stop here..."STOP"


  1. Kudos to you for sharing your story with us.

    I definitely understand and share your experiences as a mother. It is one of the hardest job and also very rewarding.

    Big sister is doing a very good job.

    I think it's ok to share such worries and concerns and just let it out. May be there is someone out there who is reading this, can come help you (if only, I could baby sit your baby part time) but I am not in Bhutan as of now.

    I hope you are saved from this misery and find someone to look after the kids. They are so adorable.


  2. Thank you Yeshi for going through my story. :)

  3. "getting myself a second wife would be easier than getting a babysitter," a male friend shared when I narrated my tale of woe...This has indeed become such a huge problem that nobody looks as a problem,alas!
    Hope we could find a way out to solve this problem ni sir?

  4. I'm already on the look-out for second wife...hehe :) Hope you're keeping fine madam.

  5. Your photos are very beautiful and the kids are so adorable.
    If you cannot get a baby sitter, send them over to Malaysia and I will take care! Ha Ha Ha

    Wishing you a Happy & Healthy New Year 2016!